Now these are free videos with valid information!
This is what my hair looks like right now, with tiger lily flowers to match the 68 degrees outside (took me 3 minutes):
This will be my next look the next time I’m “out”:
I really don’t utilize my long hair nearly as much as I should!
I wish I had a (redheaded) little girl! She’d sport this look once a week.
…Bull!
What is up with this latest sales-pitch gimmick? I’ve received so many emails lately from what I thought were legitimate resources that send me quick links to videos like this: Free Video For Women on Tips To Get Flat Abs.
The email was as follows:
Hey Rene! Check out this shocking video. It shows the fastest way to lose stomach fat. Since it’s free, I won’t have it up for very long, so watch it while you can.
When you click on it, you’re brought to a page that has a big banner: 5 Odd Foods that KILL Your Abdominal Fat? Then you get to choose between the best info for you based on being a man or a woman (“Women click here for your short but unusual video showing odd foods and tips to get a flat stomach“).
When it first starts, the voice-over guy, Jon, who literally draws himself for us (& notice he is either trying to say “Yeah”, or “Yay” by spelling it “Yah!”? Men who can’t spell…major turn-off!), starts by saying he’s going to tell me the Top 5 belly fat burning foods. Awesome. I have my pen and paper ready! I just have to first listen to his life-long struggle as a chubby-chub who never saw his ab muscles until he was 40 years old. I am convinced throughout his testimony that his 48 inch waist was never his fault. I’m also convinced to never buy another exercise video, stimulate-based supplement, or to spend as much time at my local YMCA as I usually do, let alone bother with another sit-up or crunch for the rest of my life (despite watching my dad do 500 sit-ups a day for 3 decades, sporting the best six-pack I’ve ever seen in person in my life, and as soon as he stopped his daily exercise routine, his waistline increased). But guess what? Jon never does mention the Top 5 belly fat burning foods I should eat. As the lame sales pitch continues that’s full of emotional journeys and personalization techniques, the promises increase: In a minute, I’m going to tell you exactly how to get flat abs without exercise, but first, let me tell you about my girlfriend.
In a minute he’s going to tell me how to lose 70 lbs. without doing 30-40 min cardio workouts 5 times a week. In a minute, he’s going to tell me the best foods to melt my belly fat. In a minute, he’s going to tell me what foods are the worst things I’ve been fooled into thinking actually help curb my weight! In a minute, I’m going to die because I will be celebrating my 103 Birthday, and this freaking video is still rolling! I think Jon is really a chick, because her, I mean his version of “in a minute” is not the same as Greenwich Mean Time’s! What have I learned up to this point? Jon’s lost 70 lbs. His girlfriend has total strangers boost her self-esteem by telling her she could be a model now. Oh, and his best friend, Mike, is the one who has compiled all of Jon’s promised pieces of information in a book/video package that’s valued at $70, but I can get it now by clicking another link for only $39.95. Whew! If I had been doing sit-ups during this “amazing testimony to hear amazing secrets”…
Like Jon’s hot, but relatively old girlfriend who’s just wasting her time waiting on a life-long commitment from Jon, who “would love her no matter what she looks like…really”, I am a never-married late 30-something woman, with a little bit of belly fat that wants to hang on for dear life. Do web advertisers honestly think they can emotionally manipulate my demographic into purchasing lame-brain products by giving us a million promises and never fulfilling 1 of them before asking us to whip out our credit cards? My kind’s listening mechanisms are sharp, honey! The moment you state you’re going to do something, and then don’t follow through, we are on to the next!! The only people stupid enough to fall for this new web tool are people in their late teens/early 20′s who haven’t been jaded by promise-breakers yet, but they don’t have the attention span to watch these videos to the end anyways! Then again, I guess I can be a little bit duped still, as an iPhone App isn’t exactly a “legitimate resource”.
The only thing “shocking” about videos like these is the fact they are being produced under the impression it will make them money. I can only imagine the reason why these “free” videos aren’t “going to be up for very long” is because they are losing money operating these websites without getting a single bite from consumers.
After my opening scene in tonight’s performance , I went back to my dressing room to chill for a bit before my next entrance and discovered I had a newsflash waiting for me on my cell phone: “Whitney Houston: Dead at 48.” By intermission, our entire cast knew, and the show took on a different flavor.
Mr. Marmalade is a ‘provocative, dark comedy’ about a 4-year-old named Lucy who has an imaginary friend, Mr. Marmalade. Mr. Marmalade (as you will discover while watching Generic Theater’s brilliant production) is a conglomerate of Lucy’s single mom’s past boyfriends, characters she’s been influenced by in adult television, and her own mother. Mr. Marmalade is sweet, nurturing and attentive one moment, distant/argumentative/neglectful/self-obsessed/violent and substance-abusing the next. It’s a lot for a little girl to take in all at once, as she’s introduced to others who have similar demons in their lives as well. Is Mr. Marmalade sick? Is there something wrong with Lucy that makes Mr. Marmalade treat her that way?
Working on this show has been therapeutic for me on many levels. Playing Lucy’s self-obsessed/abusive mother, Sookie (a loose, New Jersey Girl…hints of Snookie from Jersey Shore in 10 years maybe?), has helped me work through some issues from my childhood (trying to understand how care-givers can be so emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive to young children), while watching other traumatic scenes between Mr. Marmalade & Lucy has helped me gain strength from scenes from my past friendships/relationships with drug users. This playwriter could have very well had cameras following me throughout my adult life as he wrote this script, as Mr. Marmalade’s rationalizations, delusions, recklessness, and sociopathic tendencies are almost word-for-word what I’ve experienced. All drug addicts are the same (although they will all protest they are unique in their ability to exonerate their substance use, as well as their skills to scam the naive), and if you are a decent, law-abiding citizen who has had your heart-broken by friends, family members, or romantic partners who were substance abusers, you too will find some solace in the disturbing portrait painted for audience members: you are not alone in your disturbing experiences with the lost.
Just a few moments ago, I received an alleged update from a drug abuser. It’s purpose? The same of every drug addict’s communication with a healthy, caring, sober person: to hook us back into their world long enough to turn the tables on us ~ degrade and shame the normal because they are struggling with their own lack of self-control and internal loathing. If I’ve learned anything, it’s to read every sentence of such a communication as the opposite of what’s said; only then is the truth revealed. AL-ANON‘s #1 slogan is, “When you are around the sick, you eventually become sick yourself.” Give in to their arguments, and you will be filled with self-doubt, anger, and compromises of dignity and morals. Here’s another tip I learned the hard way years ago: anytime you hear or see the word “negativity” in their communication (as in the sentence, “I don’t need any negativity in my life”), replace it with “reality”. Trust me, it’s the only way for the sane to keep your sanity!
Whitney Houston: 48. Judy Garland: 47. Amy Winehouse: 27. Janis Joplin: 27. If you don’t learn history, you’re doomed to repeat it. The thing that hurts with this loss is she really tried to stay sober. I personally believe she was saved with Jesus’ blood and she is finally in His presence. But why did Satan’s follies have a stronger grip on her down here? Maybe God taking her home today wasn’t about her, but about others in her life (her ex-husband, her daughter, other celebrity friends currently heading down the wrong path) in a hope to have the loss of her slap them in the face to straighten up, freeing her from the bondage she was battling daily in the process. Regardless of the reason for this loss, it’s a loss nonetheless. The Queen of the greatest love songs is gone just a few days before Valentine’s Day. Rest in peace, Whitney.
Whitney Houston dead: She was spotted displaying erratic behavior — Los Angeles Times
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Another Jack-ass Bites The Dust
September Is National Recovery Month
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Lohan-ded Performance
Girls, Drugs Aren’t Cool…Once you’re 60!
…if you know me personally.
My twitter friends went insane with witty insults during the halftime show today. They knocked everything from Madonna’s obvious lip-syncing, to her age showing, to the choices in songs, to her outfits, to the confusion of themes (was it Egyptian, was it Greek?) to the additional musical guests, to the choreography, to even the poor children’s choir & marching band. It was funny, and none of it was wrong. Any hope that it should have been appreciated for what it was (a live, multi-media event celebrating a 30-year music career in less than 15 minutes) was killed by the cliché slogan slapped on the end of a sexually charged, confusing routine: “World Peace”. Really?
I can’t remember the last time I liked a halftime show during the Super Bowl. I was upset when legendary, rockin’ Aerosmith sold out by agreeing to share the stage with teeny-bopper boy band ‘N Sync, and I was one of the millions flabbergasted by the “wardrobe malfunction” between Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. Okay, truth be told, I haven’t cared about the NFL since that incident. I’m a 49ners fan. Enough said. It seems lots of good acts followed Janet’s boob: The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, Prince, Paul McCartney, & The Who. Then they reverted back to crap last year with The Black Eyed Peas. Someone made the comment that since the wardrobe malfunction, the average age of the halftime performer has been 54, so Madonna fits right in at 53. Then someone else mentioned that the oldest player in this game today is 35. Now I don’t know if I should be outraged that plastic Madonna was asked to perform, or that the ageist comments are really hidden sexism? Then again, I guess Madonna brought that form of criticism on herself, seeing as she started off her career pushing sex rather than talent. She can’t fault anyone for thinking a 53-year-old woman having knee troubles during her weak performance (cleverly hiding her knee braces in live performances these days with pants or thigh-high boots) and needing to brace herself with set pieces or people everywhere she trotted isn’t sexy.
The Super Bowl is known for 4 things these days: The National Anthem Performer, the Halftime Show Performer, the game, and the commercials. I worked with Kelly Clarkson at Six Flags as an entertainer months before she auditioned for a new talent show that showed up in Dallas called American Idol. I thought her rendition was uneventful, which these days is a good thing! She didn’t overdo it with extra vocal trills, she never went flat, and she knew all the lyrics. Plus, she sported a classic hairdo and outfit.
My director, Matt Friedman, from the show Enron, (which I performed in this past fall at Chrysler Hall in Norfolk), and his brother, Jonathan, submitted a commercial for Doritos’ “Crash the Bowl” contest. He turned out to be one of the two finalists whose commercial aired during the first quarter of the Super Bowl. I was so happy for them! Anything that happened after those two events (which team wins, Madonna, etc.) really didn’t matter. Well, I guess it was nice the Giants won, seeing as they were the ones who pushed my 49ners out of the running. At least they proved they deserved to be there. So there you go…you were one degree to the Super Bowl and didn’t even know it.
So here’s Yahoo! Sports’ take on the day’s event: click here.
Rudeness!
Steve Tyler sang in his classic, rock-n-rolling bad-a$$ Aerosmith-frontman fashion. So? And he supposedly messed up the lyrics. Really? After Christina Aguilera & Lauren Alaina’s blonde-dye-job mental blocks and sqwaking of wrong lyrics, you want to throw a legend like Steve Tyler under that bus? For what? Saying “as bombs” instead of “the bombs”? I liked the change, personally. I may sing it that way from now on!
Now, let’s pick the man a part for something that counts…like leaving his faithful wife of 17 years for a woman my age! Or always cancelling Aerosmith’s shows right before their scheduled tour date here in Virginia Beach! Or maybe singing the National Anthem, but changing the last line to fit the Indy 500 Race in 2001? (He said “with bombs” that time. He really hates the article “the”!)
…shoe, that is.
Recently I used the internet to track down two different types of shoes my little heart desired. I have been longing for the perfect red ballet flat for over a year now. I saw a pair on a model in a fashion magazine in the late fall of 2010, but they were listed as being somewhere in the range of $300. For a ballet flat. A ballet flat that if the manufacturers that work with Payless Shoe Source could get their acts together, would retail for $19.99–tops! Nonetheless, the image of wearing rolled up dark denim with a soft cotton, long-john style red jersey and my hair in a high pony tail as I lightly jog on the balls of my feet from one al fresco bistro to the next was engrained in my mind.
JCrew put out a pair at the start of 2011, retailing at $125. You can click on their name to see the sad ballet prototype they feel wins the heart of every wanna-be Parisian mademoiselle. No, no, no, no! This does NOT qualify as a ballet flat! Even in Paris, they are hard to come by! The famous company that actually makes authentic ballet dance & pointe shoes, as well as modern fashion collections for women, Repetto, has a gorgeous one, yet the bow is string, not leather. If you click on the store’s name to see it for yourself and you’re wondering “How much is 170€ in U.S. dollars?” the answer is roughly $220. Yeah, never going to happen.
I searched high, I searched low…until I came across an American shoe website that had it! Endless.com:
It was everything I wanted! A black sole with a teeny-tiny square heel, a bow that matches the shoe’s leather material, a patent-leather look without being too shiny, a vamp that doesn’t cover too much or too little of the top of the foot, and most of all the color: red. TRUE red. Not “poppy”, or “burnt orange”, or “maroon”…Red. Yes, they were a little expensive still ($113.95). I’ve never spent above $80 for a pair of shoes in my life. I had purchased tap shoes as high as $60 before, and running shoes as high as $70, but those were necessities that last for years, if treated properly. But for daily wear, trends, and fashion? I’m cheap! Anything above $30 is a waste in my mind. As a matter of fact, I purchased a pair of snake-skin high-heeled boots for a country music performance in Texas at Dillards…at 70% off…for $80 ten years ago. And although I knew they were a quality shoe that I’d have for years, and I wouldn’t find a better shoe for the outfit I had planned for my show, I choked with guilt handing over that amount to the shoe clerk! But after the year-long search I had been on for red ballet flats, I realized this style is too hard to come by. They will be a staple in my closet until I’m 50 years old at least, so why not splurge on such a rare item? I received my order just TWO DAYS after placing it. So, imagine my disappointment when I slipped the sweet little apples on and realized despite the 7.5 size fitting like a glove, my feet were two wide to pull this particular look off. I walked around in my house for two hours with them on, trying to convince myself they would work! But every time I looked down, all I saw were my pudgy feet stretching this beautiful red Ferrari pair into boxy Hummers. Flashes of always losing my balance in ballet class made me realize perhaps my lack of delicate dance skill wasn’t my fault. It’s simply biology. My feet are best for…I don’t know…squashing grapes at a vineyard in Italy.
The return process was just as easy as the ordering. Just dump the box at your local UPS store, and within TWO days again, my credit card showed the full credit refund. Endless.com says what they mean and they mean what they say! What a huge change of pace…a company hellbent on perfecting customer service! I didn’t realize such companies still existed. I will turn to them before any department store or other online shopping portals for my future shoe needs.
Sadly, due to reality, my search for the perfect red ballet flat ended last week, as I realized my Hummer feet would do best in red patent-leather penny loafers instead. So I’ll look good pretending to run errands around Cape Cod instead of Paris. Target = $24.99.
In the meantime, I had another strange shoe order to fill: pink sequined heels…preferably peek-a-boo. I might have stubby feet, but I think I have cute toes. I had purchased a pink sequined dress for an event and realized although I could go with the standard gold or silver glittered or rhinestone pump, I figured matching heels would make my ensemble that much more unique. So I immediately found what I wanted on another website I had never used before: JenLinn.com. Unfortunately, this experience wasn’t as hot as the shoes I found. I paid for overnight express shipping. They claim it takes 1-3 days to process an order. I needed the shoes in five days. So, logically, I was giving them an extra day to spare. With my luck, I’ve learned to always give an extra day for any crisis to arise, because one undoubtedly will. I did not receive an emailed receipt of the transaction. However, my credit card was immediately charged for the full price the day I placed my order. I waited, and waited, and by day 4 (and theoretically the day I should be receiving them in the mail) the status of “order pending” in my “account” on their website had not changed. On day 5, the status had changed to “awaiting shipment”. Big, giant, fail. Gold, glittered heels found locally it is!
So, I tried to contact their “Live Help Desk”. They (allegedly) use Google Talk 24-7, but this is the screen it takes you to: Jenlinn Staff is not currently available to chat. I’m thinking Jenlinn Staff is never available to chat! So I tried looking up a phone number to call to cancel my order. No phone number listed anywhere. So, I used their “contact us” page to send them a direct message asking for them to cancel my order altogether and to give me a complete refund as they did not hold up their side of the order-processing/shipping agreement. It states that someone will contact you within 4-24 hours of receipt of the message. 2 days later, I checked, and nothing had changed. No refund, no cancellation, and no reply to my message. I tried again, thinking maybe the first time didn’t go through. A couple of days later, still nothing. So, I tried sending them an email to the only email they have listed: support@jenlinn.com. At least this way I’d have a copy of my message in my own sent file. I, again, stated that I wanted my order cancelled and a full refund. Still no response to my email, and no change to my “order status” or credit card statement. Fed up, I decided today to do a little research on the company.
Although I couldn’t find any complaints against the company, I also couldn’t find any further legitimate information about the company either. No phone number, even locally, is listed for them. Their address (the only one listed on the website which is their “Returns” address) is a residential home in the heart of Rowland Heights outside of L.A. A family of “Linns” seems to live there, but none of them have a personal phone number listed either. So, what else can a pop culture menace do, but file them as a new and suspicious company with the Better Business Bureau? I think three attempts to contact them, and twelve days after my package should have arrived is more than ample time for a legitimate company to acknowledge a customer they have already charged, right?
Not even a full three hours after filing their information with the Better Business Bureau in California, I received an email from them. It simply states:
An order you recently placed on our website has had its status changed. The status is now Cancelled.
That’s it. No acknowledgement that I had sent them emails…no mention of when I should receive my refund. Just, yo, you’ve been cancelled.
Hmph.
So, beware of Jenlinn.com! Do NOT be seduced by their amazing variety of shoes! I wish I had a fairy godmother to grant me my bipedal apparel…and to zap bad companies in the head!
Tags: endless.com, Jenlinn.com, red ballet flats
“A gangsta Nancy Sinatra”.
No, I’m not talking about Amy Winehouse. That’s what Lana Del Rey’s publicists have labeled her in their world-wide attempt to make her a star, before her first album is released on January 30th.
Oh the irony that no one checked with Lana Del Rey to see if she even likes Nancy Sinatra before letting her talk to the media, let alone counts Nancy as one of her influences (aka: Who is Nancy Sinatra and name 2 songs she did, quick!). Turns out, she doesn’t. Maybe it’s because they asked her opinion while she still had her Clark Kent glasses on (her real name is Elizabeth Grant, her real face…who knows?).
I’m also confused as to when the “make-over” took place. Was it sitting in her mansion in NY developing her street-cred story of trailer park life in NJ, or was it in the trailer park in NJ dreaming of a better life in a mansion in NY? This approach worked so well for Milli Vanilli, and Vanilla-Ice, and so many others who were washed out after their debut album’s flash-in-the-pan success. Pretending to be someone you’re not always works out. Always! The American public is too stupid to sniff out posers! Actually, I’ll stop with the satirical comments, because I’m already losing that musical-snob argument. America has yet to sniff out Lady Gaga. I still don’t get that one. Lana’s 25. Guess who she named as one of her musical influences? The same person Lady Gaga did…Brittney Spears. Kill. me. now.
Lana Del Rey has a massive team of publicists and managers pushing her name everywhere. I know I’ve heard the name several times in the past few months, but figured she was an up and coming R&B (or some other genre) star that I’ve missed because I don’t dive in those musical pools regularly. Turns out, she, (she being “Lana” now) only appeared live on a few shows both here and abroad singing one of only two songs. Her team of “pushers” managed to book her as the musical guest on SNL this past Saturday, and that rocked the entire blogosphere, as she was ripped to shreds by music lovers…and NBC newscaster Brian Williams…and apparently anyone with ears. She was ripped for her performance, her stage presence, and most of all her being on the show in the first place when SNL has a long history of booking only the biggest and best acts of the day.
I watched the two clips from the show on Yahoo’s Music tonight, and let’s be real…plenty of acts have sounded worse than the performance she gave. But I was disturbed to see someone who has yet to make a name for herself in the industry because of her talent or her musical accomplishments get booked for one of the Top 5 coveted musical career pinnacles in America. So, I looked her up. She tried to release an album a few years ago under her actual name, Lizzy Grant. It didn’t really take. So daddy made iTunes take it down, and she had the controversial make-over, thanks to more of daddy’s money being thrown around. She’s the spawn of a millionaire, don’t ya know! I’m kind of confused as to why she went to college for a degree in Political Science if daddy was planning on buying her way into the music industry all along? The average rock-n-roller doesn’t usually hold a degree from a prestigious university in something that has nothing to do with his/her art. Perhaps her internship at a political non-profit or major news bureau before graduation didn’t go so well, so daddy said, “How about you hang up your business heels honey and try to be a pop star…like Paris Hilton?” Maybe the college degree story is also fake? Then again, it’s not every day trailer park residents in NJ get to attend boarding high schools in Connecticut.
I’ve always dreamed about how much easier it would be to develop a fan base by working as an independent artist (thanks to a hefty bank roll) until you’re so popular you can no longer be ignored by the powers that be (like MC Hammer did) than to have to scrounge around working every joint you can for little or no pay until you have enough saved to go pander to major record labels through their usual channels of performing in showcases, only to agree to sign on for development deals before radio, or the public ever gets to hear you sing. “If I won the lottery…” has certainly escaped my lips on more than one occasion. So, I don’t fault this young lady at all for having the chance to receive model looks via under the knife, plus snub the very industry whose rules I actually hate! But I’m extremely disappointed in NBC and SNL for lowering their talent standards to such a degree, legit musical entertainer by the industry’s standards or not. There are American Idol rejects who could’ve made better use of those two songs than Lana did. They just didn’t have a team of representatives stomping the path ahead down for them, thanks to daddy’s ATM card. Hence, why they subjected themselves to the humiliating national contest in the first place.
As for Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and even Lady Gaga, I don’t think they have anything to lose sleep over, yet. I didn’t hear anything that a real artist like Tori Amos hasn’t already done…better.
“Nothing more dangerous than a mother with her child.” I’ve been saying so for years.
My amazing director from Enron, Matt Friedman, and his brother, Jonathan submitted a commercial for Dorito’s Super Bowl Challenge…and they MUST WIN!
Watch all TOP 5 finalists here & then vote. For every 100,000 votes that occurs, someone will win $10,000, so vote daily!
B.J. Wellbrock was my 2nd cousin. I never got to grow up around him or his sister Jamie. I can’t even remember meeting them. If we did, I was an older adolescent and probably too self-involved to notice little kids. But I remember the first time I met their mom, Vicki. I was just a wee little girl (4 years old to be exact) and she was a gorgeous, vibrant sixteen year old…the baby of my Mom’s cousin-clan. She was not too self-involved to pay attention to me. People always worry about Barbie dolls’ image putting too high expectations on young girls for who and what they want to grow up to be. That was never the problem for me. In every sect of both sides of my family there was always a young beauty, and she was always a soft heart, down-to-earth, full of fire, and possessed a wicked sense of humor. Vicki was one of them, and definitely someone this four-year old hoped she’d be like once she turned Sweet 16.
Although life would cause us not to be around each other again until I was a preteen, and then later an adult (keeping me from ever knowing her own children) it’s obvious her beautiful spirit, charm, and humor were passed directly into her first-born son. And that full of fire, soft heart stepped in to help a total stranger New Year’s Eve. Now, many more people besides me have learned about what type of man B.J. grew up to be, and wish they too had been given the chance to know him and call him their friend also.
My heart is broken for his momma, my beautiful cousin Vicki, as well as her entire family, for having such an epic man robbed from them before 2012 had a chance to begin.
Please click here for the full story on what a coward is, and who a hero is, and click here for my other cousin’s testimony about B.J.’s life.
Memorials:
Parents of Murdered Children
1871 W. Sim Park Dr.
Wichita, KS 67203
New Year’s Resolution #2: Get back into my daily devotions…DAILY!
Today’s entry from Joyce Meyer’s Starting Your Day Right was perfect. It begins with the following verses:
Psalm 6: 6-8
6 I am weary with my groaning;
All night I make my bed swim;
I drench my couch with my tears.
7 My eye wastes away because of grief;
It grows old because of all my enemies.
8 Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity;
For the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.
Joyce discusses how Satan is already batting against us before we even wake up in the morning to guarantee we’ll walk in hopelessness, faithlessness, and bitterness. I don’t know why I kept forgetting to wear the whole armor of God before getting out of bed every day in 2011, but I did. You’d think after a week’s worth of fiery darts one would pick up on the fact that they are under attack. Not this stubborn, high-tolerance to pain, fool.
I’m sure many of you have made the same resolution to dive deeper into the Word of God this year. Be encouraged that I am doing the same.
It’s a New Year! Time for the crazy diet trends to commence, right?
I personally am going to go back to a gluten-free diet…”diet” as in a normal nutritional routine, not as in a two-week or 1 month thing. In trying to find the best foods to eat that will help my hypothyroidism (yes, I’m back on that treadmill again), I came across two curious things: astrological diets & moon diets. One suggests I should eat certain foods according to my astrological sign, another suggests if you do a trendy detox during a particular phase of the moon, you will shed more pounds than normal.
I also stumbled across some info that claimed magnesium deficiency is a root cause of insomnia.
Here’s a list of foods accordingly:
BEST FOODS FOR CAPRICORN
Lamb. Recommended fruits and vegetables: beet, cabbage, eggplant, melon, watermelon, quince. Spices and herbs: sweet pepper, basil, coriander, cumin, ginger, curry, garlic, mustard, pepper, mint, cardamom, licorice, sage, mint, vanilla. Capricorn must drink enough water between mineral nutrition.
BEST FOODS FOR MAGNESIUM BOOST
oats, soy beans, dry roasted almonds, cashews, spinach, baked potato with skin, black-eyed peas, yogurt, bananas, rice, avocado, kidney beans, chocolate milk (!), chocolate candy bars (!), raisins, apples, apricots, broccoli
FOODS TO AVOID IF YOU HAVE HYPOTHYROIDISM
broccoli, cauliflower, kale, spinach, radishes, soybeans, peanuts, pine nuts, peaches and millet
Now, my taste buds have to come into play here. Thanks, o mighty abominations to the Lord astrologers, but I can’t stand beets, cabbage (if I’m ever made a prisoner of war, the best torture for me truly would be cooking cabbage in front of me…there’s aroma therapy, and then there are aromas that provoke suicidal thoughts), eggplant (except eggplant parmigiana, but since I’m gluten-free now…), and quince. Star-gazing-Fail!
Since the whole English-speaking world is waiting to find out what foods I will be eating in 2012, here you go…what is highlighted in purple above will be on my regular diet. I’m really going to miss broccoli (steamed or raw), spinach (raw only), soy beans (raw only), and peaches. Actually, I may rethink this anti-thyroid hormone-producing food list. It’s weird how the same foods that allegedly hurt my thyroid also happen to be the highest anti-oxidant veggies that ward off cancer. I like being cancer-free up to now, ya know?!
Oh, the moon diet you ask? It’s easy. The afternoon before the next full moon (9 JAN 2012 @ 0730hrs), you begin drinking only freshly squeezed fruit juices, herbal teas, and water. NO FOOD! I believe honey is allowed as well. It will allegedly flush out toxins and cause you to lose 6 lbs by the night of the full moon (apparently, you only lose 3 lbs on a regular day). January 9th is a Monday. Good luck to anyone who works/lives with you if you choose to try it!
Anyhow, Welcome 2012!
I saw Yasmeen Suri‘s testimony (click here) on the 700 Club today. She’s sweet and pretty…but also a BOLD sister in Christ!
So, if your Christmas season was anything like mine, you were running a mile a minute, and everything related to home (decorating, shopping, gift-wrapping, cooking preparations, etc.) was left to the last-minute! I ended up forcing myself to go a full 24 hours without sleep just to catch up on everything before Christmas Eve came knocking on our door. The continuous adrenaline rush was easy with the help of Netflix. Now, I had already watched my Top 10 favorite Christmas flicks throughout the month of December:
1) Scrooged
2) The Family Man
3) Fred Claus
4) Christmas Vacation
5) It’s A Wonderful Life
6) The Nativity Story
7) Home Alone
8) Serendipity
9) Elf
10) A Christmas Story
…no wonder I hadn’t gotten anything done…so there was nothing left for me to do but catch up on my queue list in my Netflix account. For those of you who think I’m some type of Grinch for putting It’s A Wonderful Life at #5, you should know I think it’s the most brilliant movie ever made, and therefore is my number 1 movie of all time (tied with The Wizard of Oz, of course), so I think it can stand to sit behind a few Christmas-themed comedies here.
The Netflix I had received in the mail that day was Friends With Benefits. When I originally saw the trailer for it, I thought A) what a pathetic copy-cat to No Strings Attached B) if the characters aren’t total jerks (as is usually the case in real life) then we already know how it’s going to end, because there’s no such thing as friends with benefits–either a relationship will spark, or a friendship will end…there is no unemotional in between! & C) well, I’m not telling you all that one. However, someone recently referenced the film to me, and it got me curious, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I have to admit, it was HIGH-LARRY-US! 100% better than No Strings… It’s rated “R” for a reason, so *beware* if you’re sensitive. I especially loved all the pop-culture references…as would any pop-culture-menace!
Next, I watched Limitless online. I had hoped to see it while in theaters, but this single mom rarely gets a chance to see a film on the big screen that isn’t sponsored by Disney (and by “rarely”, I mean NEVER), so, at least it got me through a lot of gift wrapping. Loved the flick. That’s what I want. Not a drug that makes me emotionally or mentally vacant, but one that will let me learn Italian in 4 days!
After that intellectually stimulating, and rather gory-near-the-end film, I decided I needed to charge up my emotions with Rabbit Hole. It was intense, and certainly showed the complexity of spiritually and physically grappling with probably the worst tragedy anyone can ever face: a parent losing a child. I liked it.
I needed a comedy after that one, so I clicked on You Again. A comedy, I did not get. Sooooo disappointing.
Then I tried A Little Help.
Yikes! The only thing worse than watching this awkward, dysfunctional family was watching pieces of me in Jenna Fischer’s lead role, who was a most unflattering character. The only plus in this film was all the Jersey Boy references to Dion DiMucci, & an amazing appearance/performance by him. Along with singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl (and actually knowing all the words), one of my biggest career dreams is getting to perform a duet with him just once, in any capacity! He’s one of my faves, and a sincere brother in Christ.
It was only 6am at this point, with so much left to do, and my queue was full of new movies that don’t come as an “Instantly Watch” yet, so I turned to an oldie, but a goodie: Heartburn. Where it all started…Nora Ephron’s biopic about her and ex-husband Carl Bernstein’s rise-and-fall marriage. If Carl hadn’t been such a wanker and emotionally damaged Nora so, we would have never gotten When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless In Seattle, or You’ve Got Mail. That’s right men, as with all things in life, you can blame chick-flicks on a guy! And he’s a Democrat, so there. I guess they’re useful to some extent after all.
I survived another successful Christmas, and it’s all thanks to my all-night movie viewing.
A gift bestowed upon my household for Christmas was a DVD….Colin Quinn’s Long Story Short. It will leave you rolling non-stop (despite there not being a parental warning sticker on the case, this video is NOT for children!). He managed to get almost halfway through the show before taking the Lord’s name in vain too. So close, and yet so far away. But that was still a major improvement for anyone who’s familiar with Colin’s stand-up…or casual conversation, really. This one-man show (directed by Jerry Seinfeld) runs in New York until January 8th 2012, and then he’s taking it on the road (not near here, of course). If only I could go see him in person for my birthday…
I wasn’t going to celebrate my birthday this year anyways.
Here’s one version of what happened back then…
And here’s a version of what would happen if the Messiah were born today…
Have I mentioned how much I hate Facebook? I have. You’re not paying attention. I’m so over this.
